My Little Piece of Joy
by Mrs.Whitlock-Cullen-black
Summary: It was supposed to be a night of fun and friends and it turned into something else entirely.how will they take it?How will he take it?What will she do? Rated M for language and future lemons maybe.AH
1. Prologue

**Soo this is my first story and I am completely nervous on how you guys will like/dislike it. **

**Here is the prologue or an attempt at one. (Italics are her thoughts)**

**Full summary:** It was supposed to be a night of fun with friends and it turned into something else entirely. Bella and Jacob are best friends have been since they were little and one crazy drunken night may change that all.

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight S.M does.**

_Shit. Do these things always take this long? It feels like forever!! Shit shit shit shit!!!!!!_

It had only been a minute and I was already panicking like crazy, I was glad I was home alone tonight .This would be really hard to explain to Alice and Ros ..…_Shit!!!_

_Jacob…_

I forgot about him, how? I have no clue he's part of this problem. _Shit!!!_

Pacing the bathroom like a mad woman I look at my watch again damn only a minute had gone by this is really taking too long! These were going to be the next eight longest minutes of my life. So I sat down and waited. I thought about all that's happened in the past few months .

I checked my watch again and I only had about a minute left which shocked me I guess I was so lost in thought. I waited a minute longer and went to look and as soon as I picked it up and when I looked at the results something clicked in me and I couldn't find it in myself to think this a mistake or burden anymore, but I cried none the less. He didn't remember, so he couldn't know and that broke my heart.

I heard the front door open then shut and a giggle. I was sick of this day in and day out it was the same thing.

I lost it…

**So what did you think? Yes, no, maybe? Hit that button down there a tell me please?**


	2. Just The Begining

**Thank you Snapegirl3 for your review it means a lot. (bold text and **_**italics **_**thoughts)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. **

**Here goes chapter one.**

College….senior year YES!!!!!!!!_ We are so out of this bitch in a year! Graduation won't come around fast enough_

By we I mean my best friends and roommates Alice, Rose, and Jacob. We are going to celebrate tonight the end of summer and start of our senior year/my engagement with James at my brother Emmett who is Rose's boyfriend, Alice 's boyfriend Jasper, my fiancé James. They graduated last year. We're going to Emmett's place tonight.

"Bella?!" Alice yelled through the apartment.

"What Alice , I'm in the bathroom!" Still_ trying_ to get this damn eyeliner on. I was never good at this kind of stuff, this was Alice 's job.

"Bella, Jake still isn't here he's going to make us late! Where is James too!?" I swear it looked like she was about to have a panic attack.

" Alice ! Calm down, Emmett only lives a short ways away. I'll text them both now, okay?" she just nodded her head and left.

I pulled out my phone and texted Jake.

**Where the hell are you Jake?!! ~B~**

**Where are you!? Are you meeting us at Emmett's? ~Sweets~**

I finished my make-up and went into the living room to wait. I felt my phone vibrate and looked to see that I had a text from Jake.

**Hey Bells I'm on my way I had to finish up something ~J~**

_By something you mean you were with a girl. _It's always the same shit with him. He's either with some girl or shit no one knows and I'm sick of it, but I'm not going to do anything I'll let Rose handle it. I already know that she'll be pissed enough for Alice, her, and I.

I text Rose and told her we were going to be late _again_ so tell Emmett and Jazz. I put my phone down and a few minutes later I got a text back.

**Tell Jake I'm going to kick his ass this is like the fifth time he's done this shit!! ~R~**

Just as I was about to reply back Jake walked in not only late, but with some girl on his arm all giggles and smiles. I swear for like three seconds I was so close to ripping her head off. Oh and did I mention I was completely in love with him? No? Well now you know. I have been since I was sixteen. Four fucking years and I can't tell him, why you ask? Because I can't ruin what we have over the prospect of something more so I opted to stay in the "_friend_ zone". Plus I'm taken, but it's still hard.

I turned around and glared at him till he looked at me and gave him the you-know-Rose-is-going-to-kick-your-ass-but-I'm-still-pissed-at-you look. He looked just a little scared which he should be, but besides that I didn't speak. I realized then that I never got a reply back from James._ Well maybe he will meet us there?_

Alice on the other hand did "Where the hell have yo.." She stopped dead in her tracks. She looked at me then at the girl and then him and all that came out was "Oh." And that's saying something when she has pretty much nothing to say. She shouldn't be shocked though, it's always the same thing with him.

"Well lets go Rose is already pissed of at you." I told him.

"But I have to shower and chan…" I cut him off with a glare

"You should've thought about that before, we are late enough, now lets go." I snapped.

I pointed to the door and they walked out. I locked it behind me. There was a very awkward silence in the elevator and it was kind of a shock that Alice wasn't trying to fill it, but to be honest I was fine with it. I had nothing to say to him at the moment and me and Ali could talk later.

Until. "Hey guys this is Tan.." I cut him off

"If we wanted to know we would ask!" _No one wants to know the sluts name Jake!!! _He looked taken back by the comment but I could care less I was too pissed. It was quiet after that and I was glad. I could feel his and her glare on my back the rest of the ride down. As soon as we got off the elevator he pulled me aside while Ali and whatever her name is got into the car.

"What the fuck is your problem Bella huh?!!" He glared down at me. I glared back.

"You!" Was all I said then I walked away and got into my car, started it and headed off towards Emmett's. It was about a fifteen minute drive when I got there I looked around to see if James's bike was there, it wasn't. _Where the hell could he be? He knew we were supposed to meet at 8:30 it's almost 9:15!_

I tried calling and it went straight to voicemail so I left a message "Hey, just want to know where you're at; you were supposed to be here like forty-five minutes ago! Love you, call me back." I got out the car and headed up to the house.

When I got in I was immediately pulled into a bear hug. "Bells!" Came the voice of my bear of a brother.

"Hello to you too Emm, where is everyone else?" I asked the TV was on in the living room and I could hear talking coming from the kitchen.

"Rose and the pix are in the kitchen and Jazz is in the living room with Jake and..?" he trailed off.

"Don't know don't care" I said walking towards the living room peeking my head in. "Hey Jazz!"

He turned away from whatever it is that he's watching "Hey Bella, how are you?" He looked at Jake and the slut for a second then back at me waiting for a reply. Jazz is the only one besides Rose and Alice that knows. I remember the day he found out, I had never cried so much the day I realized that I was in love with Jake and the next few days after.

* * *

[ Flashback]

_I had been sitting in my room for the past day or so, I was so confused, shocked and a lot of other emotions. I told Rose and Ali, they were as shocked as I was. They tried to comfort me but it wasn't helping much so I told them I just wanted to be left alone._

_I guess they never got the message across to Jake because he called and text me all day. I wanted to answer it so bad but it felt like if I did it would all just spill out, so I turned off my phone. That night I went to bed thinking about what this could mean for our friendship or if I could actually just be his friend._

_I woke up crying from a nightmare I had, most likely about the situation I was in. I cried for a while before I heard someone banging on the door. I pulled my self together as best I could 'please don't let it be him, please'. I looked out of the peephole and it was Jasper?! I opened up the door and walked towards the kitchen, I heard him walk in behind me and sit down at the table. He cleared his throat a few times but still seemed to not be able to speak._

_I knew why he was here; Alice could never keep her mouth shut about some things. "Just spit it out already Jazz!" I snapped!_

"_Well Bella, Ali told me bits and pieces of what's happening right now and I'm not exactly sure how to put them together." He said in a rush._

'_Damn I can't do this right now.' I couldn't turn around. He would see it and he would know. I could barely handle knowing myself let alone Rose and Alice now Jasper?!_

"_Bella, are you okay?" He put his hand on my shoulder. "You're shaking."_

_He was right I was shaking with quiet sobs, hell I hadn't even realized I was crying 'til he said something._

"_Bella?" He asked in a whisper._

_I turned around but I couldn't look at him I couldn't look into his eyes and see what I saw in Alice and Rose's eyes…pity... I could hear it; I didn't need or want to see it. I knew why it was there, they knew what would happen if Jake and I became a thing. Hell I knew what would happen, he would break my heart! If it was someone else I would eventually get over it, but if it was him it would break me. I don't know how I would come back from that._

_It was then that I realized that Jasper was calling my name. "Bella, are you okay?" he asked worriedly_

"_No, but I will be. It's just hard you know?" I said in between sniffs though it was no use, the tears still flowed. I looked at him then. "I just wish that things could be different I guess." He didn't say anything just pulled me into a hug and let me cry 'til I couldn't anymore._

_After that day he would give me any type of advice on the whole situation or just come and check on me when it got too hard to handle. Jasper became like a second brother to me and I will forever be grateful for how he helped me._

_[End Flashback]_

* * *

"Hey Bella?!"…… "Bella"……

"Oh, huh?" Oops I guess I spaced out.

"How are you?" Jazz asked just a little slower this time

"Fine Jazz, just fine." I waved and walked towards the kitchen where Rose and Alice were. There were hushed whispers coming from inside.

"Shit Alice are you su…." They stopped as soon as they saw me come into the room.

"Is she sure about what?" I asked looking between the both of them.

"Nothing." they said at the same time looking at each other than at me. I narrowed my eyes at them but left it alone. After that we just talked about everything but Jake and the slut in the other room. I looked down at my watch and was shocked to see that a little over an hour had passed . " We've been in here for over an hour girls, lets go in the other room?" They both nodded and walked out to the living room.

-----**Living room-----**

We walked into the living room to find them watching sports, well Jazz and Emm were. Jake and that girl weren't in here _'Must be outside or something'._

James still wasn't here so I went into the hall to call and see where he was at. It rang a few times then went to voicemail I called three more times with the same result. '_He's ignoring me? The hell!?'_ I couldn't believe it so I tried again and got the same result so I left a message.

"I don't know what's going on and why you aren't here but call me back!" I tried to keep my voice as calm as I could but there was still an edge to it.

I went back into the room to try and have a good time with my friends as best I could.

* * *

The hours rolled by with lots and lots of drinks, toasts and talk but still no word from James. I was so mad that I wasn't paying attention to how many drinks that I was having. Shit everyone was extremely wasted save for Emm and Rose. Jake's little friend _was_ passed out on the couch. Jake was just as drunk as I was so he wasn't any better off and Jazz was trying to keep himself and Alice up. With how drunk I was I didn't think I could stand up let alone make it home on my own and I was about to voice those concerns, but before I could Emmett did.

"Hey Bells and Jake Rose will take y'all home and I'll take her home." he said pointing to the girl on the couch.

"Wh-what about Ali-Alice and Jazzz…?" I drunkenly slurred.

"Don't worry 'bout them, let's get you two home." Rose said pushing me and Jake towards the door. We got in the car driving towards the apartment. It was really quiet the ride there and Jake kept staring at me, it was…. weird . He seemed to snap out of it when Rose spoke as she pulled up to our building and parked.

"Can you two get up there okay by yourselves?" She asked

"We're fine Rosie." Jake slurred.

"Yeah _Rosie _we are fine." I giggled out at the nickname he gave her.

"AlrightI'll see you two tomorrow, goodnight." She said as we got out of the car.

"Night _Rosie._" I giggled

"Night." was all Jake said. I could feel him staring again.

We stumbled into the lobby together trying to keep the other up but it was pointless we were both shit-faced drunk. We fell and laughed our way to the elevator, when we finally got in it got really quiet and the air was thick. I could feel his gaze on me again.

I turned around my breath hitching from what I saw. The look on his face was… I wasn't sure what to call it. I looked into his eyes and I couldn't tell what emotions were there, but his eyes visibly darkened and fuck… I could barely breathe with the way he was looking at me.

He licked his lips and took a step towards me, I took one back, we continued this 'til my back hit the elevator wall and he was a few inches away from me. He took those last couple of steps 'til his body was flush to mine. I put my hand on his chest to push him away and opened my mouth to tell him no, but nothing would come out. He just stared at me for a while then he started to lean in and I found my voice then.

"Jake I-." he cut me off with a "Shhhh.." while leaning in and capturing me into a searing kiss I wouldn't think possible this damn drunk, but it was and I kissed back, and in my head I could hear a voice telling me that this was wrong and that I should stop… that I was in a relationship! But my body had different ideas and I was already too lost in this kiss to stop now, so I just ignored the voice. The world blacked out slowly as I felt him pull me out of the elevator.

* * *

I woke up in my bed with a pounding headache and an arm around my waist I snuggled closer to the body figuring that James came in later last night.

Until I opened my eyes to see………………….a russet colored arm. '_Shit!'_

* * *

**So how was that? I thought it sucked towards the end but my opinion doesn't matter as much as yours does so tell me what you thought of it just hit that review button. Please?**


	3. The Day After

**Thank you to my beta Snapegirl3 your well pretty awsome and I hope you guys like this chapter as much as the last. Enjoy **

**I dont own Twilight.(sadly)**

**chapter two**

* * *

_Previously on My Little Piece of Joy:_

_I woke up in my bed with a pounding headache and an arm around my waist I snuggled closer to the body figuring that James came in later last night._

_Until I opened my eyes to see…………………… a russet colored arm 'Shit!'_

* * *

I…FUCK! How could I have let this happen?! I really needed to get the fuck out of here before someone came home, before he woke up. I was seriously starting to freak out right now, I wasn't stupid enough to just pull his arm off of me, he would wake up and that was something I did **not** want to happen while I was in his bed naked.

I slowly started to pull his arm off of me and when I got almost to the point where I could slip out, what does he do? He fucking pulls me back to him and holds me tighter! I tried to move his arm again but it wouldn't budge, so I didn't have any choice but to lay there 'til his grip on me loosened. After a while, it started to loosen and so I slowly slipped from under it.

I grabbed all of my underwear and bra and slipped them on. I grabbed my dress and shoes but when I looked at the dress and it was completely ruined! _What the fuck? What happened to it?! _The part where the zipper was, was torn! It looked like he tore the zipper out completely! **(picture of the whole outfit before the elevator scene on profile.)**

I started to tip toe out of the room when the floor creaked, I heard him move and I prayed that he wasn't waking up. I looked over my shoulder and he had just turned over on his back facing the door so I made it to the door as fast and as quietly as I could, I closed the door softly and went to the bathroom and turned on the shower. I waited for it to steam up then hopped in with every intention to try and relax and stop thinking about last night. Well I was relaxed but I couldn't get it out of my head, so I washed up, got out and went into my room and looked at the clock, it was 8:00 which was still early so I decided that I would try and go back to sleep.

I got a few hours of sleep before I was woken up by someone shaking me and talking in my ear. I opened my eyes and looked to where the talking was coming from and right in my face was Alice!

"Ahhhh!" I jumped back hitting my head on the head board "Shit Alice! What are you doing in here?!" I asked her.

"Oh sorry Bella! I didn't mean to scare you but you need to get up now, we leave in a little while." she said after she stopped laughing. I noticed she still had on her clothes from last night. I looked her up and down and eyed her pointedly. She blushed and there was a smile playing on her lips, I just raised one eyebrow.

"What!? I didn't have clothes at Rose's house!" was her explanation but I didn't question it because we both knew that wasn't the truth and why I was looking at her like that. I have to admit though she still didn't look like she had just got out of bed, it was strange that her and Rose could just get up and look like super models. She had a spaghetti strapped black and cream colored dress on with black heels and a necklace. **(Rose and Alice outfit on profile.)**

"Alright Alice! Well, where is Rose?" I asked because usually she would be in here too.

"She's saying bye to Emm" she answered. "Now get up and get dressed we leave in an hour!" And with that she left. I went to my closet and started looking through the clothes. After what I knew happened last night I didn't even feel like going out, but I knew that if anyone could take my mind off of things for a while it was Alice and Rose. I picked out my outfit, a pair of skinny jeans a pink and white checkered tube top, and a pair of pink mary janes with pink accessories. After I got dressed I went to the bathroom to do my make up and hair I put my hair into a high ponytail and went with just some eye liner, mascara, and some lip gloss.

I came out of room at the same time as Rose and Alice. Rose had on a red tank, dark blue skinny jeans, red heels and red accessories. Alice had on a white halter with skinny jeans, a pair of leopard heels and leopard accessories **(on profile.)**.

"Hey Bella, you look great." Rose complimented

"Thanks Rose so do you, where's my brother?" I asked smirking. Her cheeks turned a light pink.

"Sleeping." she giggled. "Where's James at?" That put a frown on my face.

"I don't know I haven't seen him since yesterday morning." my frown deepened. Rose looked at Alice for like a second then looked back at me_ 'what the hell is going on?'_.

"What?" I asked looking between the both of them.

Before either one of them could answer Jake came out of his room. I instantly started to panic. What if he says something in front of them? How will he react to seeing me now after what we did?! But what he did surprised me.

"Hey Bells, Ali, Rose." And that was it! He didn't even say anything about last night so what did that mean? I really needed to be out of this house, to do something to take my mind off of all of this.

"Lets head out guys we have a very long day ahead of us." said Alice. So we all said bye to Jake and headed to the elevators. I was so tense by the time we got in there and I was sure Rose and Alice noticed it but they didn't comment on it. Until we got into the car, Alice was she first to speak.

"So…..What was that all about hmm?" she looked at me through the rear view mirror.

"I'll tell you guys later let's just do what we came to do. What is it that we came to do exactly?" I looked at them skeptically.

"Well Bells, we were going to go look at dresses and things" she said.

"We have plenty of dresses Ali so why are we going to get more?" I was confused. She grinned at Rose and Rose grinned back. I guess I wasn't getting it?

"No Bella we are going _dress _shopping…" She put emphasis on the word _dress_. I had to think really hard about it but then I got it.

"What…seriously? I thought that we weren't going to go for another month!?" I was getting excited now, even though I am not the biggest fan of shopping. But who wouldn't be when you're going shopping for your wedding dress.

"Well Bella, we wanted to surprise you with an early appointment. So are you up for it?" Rose asked. I guess I took too long to answer because she looked worriedly at Alice.

"Yeah I'm game! And while we're at it we can pick out your dresses as well!" I was actually excited about this besides the fact that this was a total distraction. For the rest of the drive there I let my mind wander back to last night. How was I going to broach the subject with them? Should I talk to Jazz first? I was giving myself a headache so I decided that that was enough thinking for now and that I would just have fun with my girls.

* * *

We had lots of fun I found my dress and theirs too. My dress was white with lace throughout and a see through lace back, tight 'til about my knees and had cropped sleeves. Their dresses were olive green silk, jeweled flower gowns. It was a lot to get done in one day but we did it in half. I just fell in love with the dress when I saw it and it was like the fifth one that I had tried on and refused to try on any more because I knew that it was _the _dress.**(on profile)**

Throughout the day they continued to ask me what was wrong, I guess they noticed how off I was but I told them that I would talk to them about it later and they'd accepted it for the moment. I felt that Jazz would help me better if I told him first; he knew things that Ali and Rose didn't even know so he would be more help. We continued on with our day, went into countless stores. Clothes stores, lingerie, even furniture after Rose told us that Emm had asked her to move in with him and she said yes. She wanted to change it up a bit; you know add a woman's touch to his otherwise very manly house.

After we were done we headed back home. When we got there all the guys were there, including James (whom I wasn't going to speak to now, I was still pissed about last night) and some girl that I had seen around the apartment building. I assumed she was here with Jake and my assumptions were proven correct when he came in and sat next to her and put his arm around her I felt a pang in my chest to know that he could go on with his day normally while I couldn't, knowing what had happened between us. I didn't know how I was supposed to feel but it hurt like hell to know that it didn't affect him in any way.

_Dammit Jacob! _He looked up at me like I had called his name out loud I couldn't look at him so I decided to just go in my room and put my stuff away then maybe take a walk to calm myself down some. I'm positive everybody realized that I hadn't uttered a word to James even though he had been looking at me since I walked in but I could care less at that moment. I walked into my room put all my stuff away and grabbed my coat and went back into the other room. I figured I might as well tell Jazz now.

"Hey Jazz can I talk to you? Take a walk maybe?" I pleaded with my eyes letting him know that it was really important. He got the hint and accepted my invitation for a walk. He got up to grab his coat and say bye to Alice, she was looking at me with a knowing look. I looked at Rose and she had the same look on her face, they knew I was keeping something from them but didn't know what but they knew that if they pushed I just wouldn't tell them. I waved bye to everyone and as we were getting ready to head to the door James must have had enough of my ignoring him because he got up and pulled me into the kitchen.

"What the hell is your problem?!" he spoke through gritted teeth. I just smirked and replied with.

"Doesn't feel good does it?" and walked out of the room and out the door Jazz following close behind.

We walked for some time in silence me trying to figure out how to say it, him waiting for me to speak. I finally got up the nerve to start talking.

"Something happened and I'm not sure what do."

"What happened? Was it between you and James, or you and Jake?" Simple enough question but I couldn't answer it. It took me some time but I finally got it out.

"Jake." I whispered he stopped then a turned to me and understanding was clear on his face, he wordlessly pulled me into a hug knowing it was what I needed at that moment. I let some tears slip but knew that if I continued to cry it would be evident that I had been crying when we got back home. After a while I pulled away and gave him a small smile. He smiled back nodding, acknowledging my silent thank you.

"So I'm guessing that this happened last night?" he asked while we walked towards the park a few blocks away from the apartment. I nodded "What happened, can you tell me?"

I nodded again and told him from when Jake came in with the girl to when I woke up this morning and about how it didn't seem to be affecting Jake at all and how that felt. He sat and listened with nods and a few questions but mostly listened. And that is why it's so great to have a best friend who majored in Psychology. We sat quite for a while giving him time to process all of what I had just told him.

"Well, if you don't know exactly what happened and aren't sure what happened after the elevator…and he was way more drunk than you are, are you sure he even remembers what happened?" he asked breaking the silence.

"I…ummm…Wow! No I don't know, maybe that's why he's acting so normal." I was, to say the least, relieved to know that maybe he didn't remember and that it wasn't him just not caring.

"Are you going to tell Rose and Alice?" he asked after a while looking at the sun just about to set.

"Yeah, but I knew that I should tell you first, you know more about it than they do so you would be of more help. You're more level headed than those two." I grinned at him and he grinned back knowing it was true. "Because if I had told them what I thought was happening they would have created a really big mess that none of us would have been able to clean up when it was over." He nodded his head agreeing with me.

"Let's head back?" He asked after a few minutes of silence. I just nodded and got up and gave him a hug, silently conveying my thanks. We started walking back to the apartment. When we got there everyone was still in the living room. They all looked up as we stepped into the room.

I walked over to Rose and Alice and nodded to my room which was the furthest from the living room and they followed me. Everyone but Jazz gave me confusing looks as we walked down the hall I faintly heard a. "What was that all about?" come from Emm and Jazz reply with a "Nothing".

When we got into my room I closed and locked the door and turned on the TV just to muffle our voices a bit.

"So Bella what is it that you wanted to talk about?" Alice asked beating Rose to it just as she was opening her mouth to speak.

"Well, Rose you know how you dropped me off last night………"

* * *

End chapter

**I hope you guys enjoyed it, if so review if not review I need the feed back to make it better. **

**Till next time. =)**


	4. Dreaming of You

**Hey! I'm sorry for the long time with no update lots been going on but I do promise more frequent update.**

**Thank you to my beta Snapegirl3 for sticking with me on this. I hope you enjoy it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight ****L**

* * *

_Previously on My Little Piece of Joy:_

_When we got into my room I closed and locked the door and turned on the TV just to muffle our voices a bit._

"_So Bella what is it that you wanted to talk about?" Alice asked bating rose to it just as she was opening her mouth to speak._

"_Well rose you know how you dropped me off last night………"_

* * *

"Yeah Bells Why?" she looked at Alice then back at me.

"Well something happened." the looked worriedly at each other and then back at me again so I took that as the go ahead and told them everything that I told Jasper and what his theories were on why Jake wasn't acting like I was not only cause they needed to know but because if I hadn't one or both of them would have went out there and made a scene.

They hadn't said a word the whole time and when I was done they still didn't say any thing I was really shocked because that they would've had a mouth full of questions and comments. But nothing and for a while I might add. So I waited. Finally Rose spoke.

"How are you?" was her first question. That why they are my friends there were a bunch of questions she could've asked me and how are you was the first. I gave her a small smile.

"I'm actually good, you aren't mad that I went to Jazz first?" I asked looking between both of them Rose shook her head no but Alice didn't answer she looked a bit lost she hadn't said a word yet and it was starting to make me worry. Rose seen the look on my face then a shook her lightly she jumped slightly.

"Oh I'm so sorry what did you say? Her cheeks turning pink with embarrassment. I laughed a little.

"I said are you mad that I told Jazz first?" she looked slightly shocked by the question.

"No Bella why would I be? I know how much easier it is to get help from someone who is not so tangled up in the mess a different point of view on the situation. But are you okay and I mean really okay?" I was relived to know that neither one of them were mad at me for not telling them first. " so what are you going to do about James?" was her next question and by far the hardest to answer.

"Well I don't know for sure I'm just coming to terms with the fact that it happened and I don't want to ruin what we have you guys a Jazz are the only ones that know, Jake doesn't remember and I think its best kept that way for now." I answered.

"Well speaking of James where has he been lately and where was he at last night?" Rose asked changing the subject to a bit safer topic. I sent her a grateful smile.

"I don't know where he has been and I'm not sure about last night either he didn't answer his phone when I called." just thinking about how he has been for the last few weeks was starting to make me mad.

"so that's why your ignoring him, because of last night?" she asked. I just nodded my head

" Well he does deserve it I guess."

"Well are you ready to o back out there?" Alice asked after a while.

"No I'm just going to lay down go to sleep its been a long day and I have more wedding stuff to do so I have to get up early." I yawned feeling the affects of the day I said goodnight to them both and told them I said to tell everyone else the same.

I want into my bathroom to take a quick shower. But that quick shower turned into a long one which gave me time to think and with that came full force all the emotions I had held back over what was happening and I cried, for how long I'm not sure but the water started to get cold so I turned it off and got dressed for bed and went to sleep as soon as my head hit the pillow I was out.

* * *

I woke later to James getting in bed I looked at the clock on the night stand it was 3:00am and I know that I went to sleep around 9:00pm. He tried to snuggle close but I nudged him back he wasn't off the hook and he should've known better than to try and pull that shit with me then try this I don't think so!

"Sweets come on!" He whispered

"Don't fucking sweets me its three in the morning and your just now getting into bed! I want to sleep and your not off the hook for that shit a couple nights ago. so I suggest you scoot your ass to the other side of this bed or scoot your ass to the couch or home. Your pick! Goodnight." and with that I went back to sleep. My once blank mind was filled with a dream.

* * *

[Dream]

_Skin on skin, russet on pale. Heavy breaths, grunts, and moans mine and his. Me then him pure bliss, my blue eyes looking into his brown. I could see in my own yes what not many others could. Love. A passion filled kiss. He whispered my name._

"_Bella."_

* * *

I woke with a start breathing hard. _'it felt real'_ I looked over at the other side of the bed James was still sleep, I expected him there but he wasn't who I wanted to be there at the moment and mentally chastised my self for it. I looked at my alarm clock it was only a few minutes till I had to get up. I went to go take a shower try and get the thoughts that swirled around in my head to stop the dream only adding to the mess. I couldn't let this set me back today I was meeting with the wedding planner, I needed to be focused _' it was a dream nothing more nothing less.' _I told myself over and over again but the more rational part of my brain listened the more stubborn part refused to leave it alone and I was getting annoyed by hat fact. I didn't have time for this it would throw me off focus all day so I tried best I could to push it to the back of my mind.

I went back out to the room to get dressed James was still sleep. He needed to wake up so w could go and pick out the rings and go look at the place the wedding was going to be held. I walked to his side of the bed to wake him up, I shook him nothing I shook harder still nothing.

"James. James get up we need to go soon" I said with a shake. Nothing he didn't even stir. _' you sleep like the dead! Ugh!'._ I went into the kitchen and grabbed a glass filled it with cold water and went back to the room I tried with the shaking and talking in his ear but it still didn't work so I poured the whole cup of water on him. He got up then.

"What the fuck Bella!" I laughed at the look on his face, it was priceless. "this isn't funny what did you do that for?!" he did look slightly pissed but I didn't care he should've gotten his ass up.

"Get dressed we leave in an hour." I was walking out the door to go make some coffee when I heard him mumble something about cancelling with someone but I didn't catch a name. but for some reason it rubbed me the wrong way along with the fact that he had made plans to go out knowing that this was our day to spend together ,shit it was his idea!

* * *

Jacobs POV

_[Dream]_

_I heard moans and heavy breathing not just mine. it was dark. I realized I had my eyes _

_closed and opened them to a pair of stunning blue eyes. It felt like they could see right through me. I looked at the rest of the face and it was her. I was still thrusting into her faster and harder than before. She moaned and arched her back into me. My name came out a strangled cry of her release._

"_Jacob!"_

* * *

**I hope you liked it. Once again if you liked it review if not…..review!**

**-Nene**


	5. Terrified

_Previously on My Little Piece of Joy:_

Jacobs POV

_[Dream]_

_I heard moans and heavy breathing but not just mine. it was dark. I realized I had my eyes closed and opened them to a pair of stunning blue eyes. It felt like they could see right through me. I looked at the rest of the face and it was her. I was still thrusting into her faster and harder than before. She moaned and arched her back into me. My name came out a strangled cry of her release._

"_Jacob!"_

I woke up out of breath, sweaty, an with a mess in my boxers. '_shit that's the second time I've had that dream.'_ I had it the other night it felt so real and for some reason I expected _her_ to be there when I woke up, but I was alone. But today I wasn't I looked over to see the sleeping form of Lauren, She lived on the floor above us. We had been checking out each other for a few weeks now and I had finally made a move.

I made to lean over to wake her op but then felt something cold and sticky looking down I remembered the mess I made and decided to go hop in the shower and wake her when I got back. I went to the bathroom and started the shower waiting for it to warm up once it did I stripped out of my sticky boxers and threw them into the hamper reminding my self to do my own laundry this week. Once I got in the shower I got right under the spray the warm water relaxing me almost immediately.

I thought about the dream and how she had been acting the past couple of days. But it wasn't something that new she had been this way around me for some years now but now it was more so than usual. I pushed it to the back of my mind cause it was starting to bug me. I got out of the shower and dried off and put on some clothes. Walking out the bathroom and towards the kitchen I heard singing coming from the balcony. I got closer so I could listen.

[Bella POV]

I sat on the balcony with my guitar and coffee messing with the strings just thinking I had been up for a few minutes now waiting for James. I felt like writing but wasn't sure what to write so I thought that maybe singing something I wrote would be helpful.

I decided to sing a song I wrote when I had met James but I wasn't really sure if it was about him. Its called Terrified

**You by the light is the greatest find **

**In a world full of wrong you're the thing **

**that's right.**

**Finally made it through the lonely to the other side.**

**You said it again my hearts in motion every word feels **

**like a shooting star. I'm at the edge of my emotions **

**Watching the shadows burning in the dark.**

**And I-I-I I'm in love.**

**And I-I-I I'm terrified.**

**For the first time and the last time in my only life**

**Life…..**

"Wow." I turned around to where the voice came from by the door. It was Jake.

"I haven't heard you sing in a long time, you sounded great." I smiled a little. " did you write that?"

"Yea, thanks." I turned my head the other way looking out over the balcony. There was an awkward silence I turned around to see him open his mouth to say something. Just as he was about to James came out.

"Hey I'm ready, lets go."

"okay." I said walking back into the house. I went to go put on my coat looking back at him he hadn't turned around yet. As if he felt my stare he looked back at me and our eyes locked. His brow furrowed, he was in deep thought. I could see the battle waging on in his eyes. About what, im not sure. He opened his mouth again and started to speak.

"Can we….." he was interrupted again by James.

"Lets go." he said tugging on my hand. I looked back at him as we started walking towards the door.

"forget it its nothing important." he said his voice and his eyes told me different.

The day passed by in a blur of colors, patterns, china sets, and center pieces. It was a productive day if it just concerns wedding plans. But the day overall was just blah.

James hardly had any input. He was on his phone the entire time. He was rude to the planner and I was just sick of his shit.

[flashback]

_We had been here bout an hour and had went over colors and patterns so far we had about another hour and a half. _

"…_what are your thoughts on this centerpiece?" the planner Charlotte asked._

"_its really beautiful" I really liked this one the best " lets see what he thinks." she just nodded her head._

"_Mr. Danvers?" she asked and got no reply. _

_I looked over and seen that he was on his phone texting. 'dammit why did he have to do this here?'_

"_James?" he didn't even bat an eye. "James!" I hit his arm. He looked up then. And he looked…...angry?_

"_what?" he hissed. I was to shocked by his sudden burst of anger that I didn't answer. _

"_What, what do you want!" he said through clenched teeth._

"_What do I want!" I looked back at Charlotte and she looked shocked. " we're planning a wedding for christs sake!" I said slamming my hand down on the table. " Not just any wedding! Our wedding and your asking me what I want!" I practically screamed a him. " you have to be kidding me right now!" he just gave me this blank stare._

"_Just leave." I said looking in the other direction._

"_What?" was his brilliant answer._

"_Go home, do something else because you clearly don't want to be here!" _

"_Whatever, I'm gone." he got up and started walking out. He dialed a number and before the door closed I heard him say " I'm out."_

[end flashback]

I was currently sitting in Jacobs car on my way home because James took my car. I wanted to scream and throw something but most of all I just wanted to cry. But I couldn't do any of that in the car with Jacob. It would just have to wait. The ride felt like it was taking forever. I was very aware of the fact that he was looking at me every few seconds.

We finally made it home and as soon as the car was parked I hopped out and was on my way to the lobby. Lucky for me the elevator doors were just opening. I got on and as the doors were closing I seen Jake running up to try and catch me. I was alone in here so I let the tears that I had been holding in since james left fall. the doors opened on my floor an I got off an started walking to my apartment.

As I was trying to open the door I seen jake getting off of the elevator. I wiped my eyes trying to hide the fact that I was crying and tried to hurry up and open the door and trying to do both I dropped my keys. I tried to hurry up and pick them up but by the time I had them he was already in front of me. I couldn't look at him.

" Bella." was all I heard before I was engulfed in warmth. His arms rapped tightly around me. I just broke, let the tears I had been trying to hide from him fall. We stood there for what seemed like an eternity. Me crying my eyes out and him whispering comforting words into my hair. I had stopped crying enough for him to pull back some. He wiped the remaining tears away and leaned in and kissed me on my forehead.

He put his forehead against mine and we just stayed that way for a while. I don't know what came over me but I stood up on my toes and pressed my lips to his. Then I realized who I was kissing and where we were at and pulled back and stepped away from him. He was staring at me wide eyed and I was staring at him horror written all over my face.

He opened his mouth to speak and it snapped me out of whatever trance I was in and I started making my way to the elevator. He was still standing in front of the door. I pulled out my phone and called the only person I could think to call. Jasper. It rang twice before he picked up.

"Hey Bel…." I cut him off in my panic.

"where are you?" I asked frantically looking back to see that he still hadn't moved.

"I'm pulling into the parking lot right now what's wrong?" catching on to my state of panic. He sounded worried now.

"Don't turn off the car please, can you take me some where?" I asked looking back at him again and he was looking my way now. He must have snapped out of it and he started moving towards me. Just as I got to the elevators the neighbor chick was getting off.

I hurried to get on and get the doors closed as fast as I could. I heard her say something to him. Right before they closed I heard him scream my name.

"Bella!"

-[Jacobs POV]

I don't know what happened but the next thing I know is that her lips are on mine. Then they're not. And she's looking at me in horror and then she's gone. Going down the hall towards the elevator. I could hear her talking to someone but I was stuck for a while. Then I snapped out of it and went after her. By time I got close she was already at the elevator and the doors opened and Lauren stepped off. I was close and before I could get to Bella she stopped me.

"hey there, what happened to you this morning?"

I didn't have time to talk to her so I just said " Later." and kept moving. But by the time I was close enough the doors were already closing. Right before they closed all the way I called her name.

"Bella!"

Fin.


	6. A Journey to the Past

Previously on My Little Piece of Joy:

_-[Jacobs POV]_

_I don't know what happened but the next thing I know is that her lips are on mine. Then they're not. And she's looking at me in horror and then she's gone. Going down the hall towards the elevator. I could hear her talking to someone but I was stuck for a while. Then I snapped out of it and went after her. By time I got close she was already at the elevator and the doors opened and Lauren stepped off. I was close and before I could get to Bella she stopped me._

"_hey there, what happened to you this morning?" _

_I didn't have time to talk to her so I just said " Later." and kept moving. But by the time I was close enough the doors were already closing. Right before they closed all the way I called her name._

"_Bella!"_

[Jacob POV]

I called her as the doors closed looking in and seeing her expression she looked mortified.

I could do nothing but stare at the doors after they were long closed. I finally snapped out of it and walked back down to the door and unlocked it. I walked in and thought I heard noises but then it stopped I closed the door and heard more noises it sounded like moaning. I figured it was just Rose and Em probably got too carried away to go back to his place _again._ The last time it happened they didn't even bother to go to her room.

I went out onto the balcony closing the door so I wouldn't get an ear full of the two and just sat and thought. About that kiss and how much I waned to…. No I wouldn't do this. Not _again_. She was _engaged_ and I was her _best friend_. I had always been her best friend. Nothing more nothing less. Even though I wanted to be so much more. There were some nights when _he _didn't come home or when they got into big fights I could here her crying. It tore me up inside so much that I would have to leave knowing there was nothing I could do to make her feel any better and go fuck someone to get it all out of my head, but I would just be right back where I was the next morning and I would feel my chest ache when I would walk in the house and see them together like nothing had ever happened .My feelings for her aside I was her best friend I've known her my whole life. I was supposed to protect her from ass hats like him and I didn't she was _marrying_ him. I wanted to kick his ass because of how bad he hurt her on a regular basis. And yet she was still with him!

It felt like I never got a chance with her. When we were sixteen I knew I was in love with her. I wanted to tell her so badly and I had worked up the nerve to tell her one day.

[_Flashback]_

_I was pacing in my room I had been for the past two hours. _

_I was in love with my best friend. I always knew she was different from how I felt about other girls but I just shrugged it off as knowing her my whole life. But then I started to look at her, I mean really look her. She was beautiful , sweet, she had the kindest heart ever. But she also loved sports and could hold her own we had so much in common and if I really sat down and thought about it like I had been doing these past couple of weeks I would've seen it. We were perfect for each other. And that scared me. But I had been thinking about it and I wanted to tell her. I hadn't seen much of her lately and I was kin of upset about hat I tried calling and texting but never got a reply back . But it helped me think and come to the conclusion that I did want and need to tell her. _

_I picked up my phone just looking at for a few minutes getting up the nerve to just call her. I dialed her number and hit the call button . She picked after few rings ._

_" Hey Jake! Where you been? I missed you." my breathed hitched at how happy she sounded that I had called. " Jake?" I realized that I hadn't said anything and quickly spoke._

_"Sorry Bells. I missed you too." I smiled. _

_"Where have you been?" she asked laughing at I don't know what._

_"just hanging round the house. What about you?" the line was quite for a minute before she spoke again._

_"hey Jake do you think we could meet up? I got to tell you something." she sounded nervous?_

_"yeah, that's why I had called you I wanted to talk to you about something ." _

_"Okay then you want to meet up at the park?" it was where we always went when we talked it wasn't far from either of our houses._

_"yeah umm give me fifteen?"_

"_Yeah see you then." she still sounded nervous or something."_

_We said bye for now and I got ready to leave. I told dad was going to see Bella. He just told me o be back before curfew which was eight on a school night. I looked at the time on my phone and it was five-thirty . I got my bike out the garage and hopped on it and took off to the park. She was already there when I got there. My heart pounded in my chest from knowing what I was about to do. Knowing that I was going to tell my best friend in the whole world that I was in love__with her. She looked as nervous as she had sounded on the phone. And just as beautiful. _

_I got off my bike and walked over to her she stood up and took a step toward me to hug me I scooped her up and spun her around. She giggled and I held on tighter not wanting to let her go. She held on tighter too. I buried my face in her neck and just breathed in everything that was Bella. I heard a throat clear and put her down my arms still around her waist. I looked over her shoulder to see some blonde guy glaring at us. She looked back and stepped out of my arms so fast. And ran over to hug him. Her back was to me and he looked back up at me and glared again. _

_I was confused. What the hell was going on. When they pulled back he kissed her…. And she kissed back. I could do nothing but stare hoping that I was dreaming or that this was some kind of joke or something anything but what I knew it had to be. I cleared my throat awkwardly and she jumped back I guess having forgot I was there . _

_She grabbed his hand and practically dragged him over to me. I stuck my hand in my pocket looking down at my worn out sneakers and shuffling my feet. When she got to me I looked up and she had this brilliant smile on her face and she looked back at him and smiled even wider. My chest hurt. I was going to open my mouth and tell her that I needed to go. I just needed to get the fuck out of there. When she spoke first._

"_Jake this is my__boyfriend __James." "James this is Jake." I was just Jake to her she didn't even introduce me has her best friend. I looked at him and all he did was nod. I nodded back and looked back at my shoes hands still shoved in my pockets. I felt my heart break at hearing the word boyfriend _

_I cleared my throat trying to get myself o say something. " when did you guys start dating?" I asked looking back up and at her._

"

* * *

_She turned back to me then her eyes getting wide " Oh, didn't you want to tell me some thing?" My head snapped up at her words I completely forgot._

"_Never mind it was nothing important." I mumbled ._

" _are you sure it sounded like it was on the phone." she tilted her head to the side staring at me. I looked down at their still joined hands and felt my heart constrict painfully in my chest I had the sudden urge to rub it but thought better of it. I clenched my jaw holding back the whimper that tried to escape at how badly this shit hurt. I couldn't stay here anymore. I had to get the fuck out of here now._

"_I'm sure. I got to go." I bit out through clenched teeth. She looked at me worriedly and I knew what was about to come out of her mouth so I cut her off " I'm fine just have a head ache."_

_I ran and grabbed my bike and hearing her call my name as I hopped on and sped down the street back home. I dropped my bike in the grass and ran up to the house going in and running up the stairs. My chest hurt so much I could hardly breathe. I never thought that would be what she had to tell me._

_I got into my room and slammed and locked the door. I looked around and the first thing I saw was a picture of me and Bella. I walked over to it and picked it up and just looked at it. _

_Then I threw it at the wall. Glass going every where. _

_[End Flashback]_

I remember hat day lie it was yesterday I had cried. It hurt that much. I hadn't cried since I lost my mom and that was fourteen years ago, I was six. I was never the same after that I became what I am today. A man whore. I couldn't understand it but I loved her and if _he_ was what she wanted then I would leave it alone. I tried as best I could to comfort her and make things better in those moments but she only ever seemed to just get sadder. When she had called me to come pick her up because he had left her at he wedding planners she sounded like she was ready to cry and so angry. I rushed out of the house. The drive felt like it took forever and when I got to her my chest ached she got in the car with out a word and I just drove us back home. I kept looking at her from out the corner of my eye and I could tell she was fighting back tears.

I shook my head clear of the memory. Just thinking about it made my fucking chest ache I only knew two ways to make it stop, fucking and music and the latter sounded the most appealing right now.

Bella had left her guitar out so I decided to play.

I just strummed for a while and then something came to mind

**I'm still alive but I'm barley breathing. Just prayin' to god that**

**I don't believe in.**

**Cause I got time while she got freedom cause when a heart breaks ,no it don't**

**Breakeven .**

**Her best days will be some of my worst. She finally found a man that's gonna put her first. While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping**

**Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven , even ,no.**

**What am I suppose to do**

**When the best part of me was always you**

**What am I suppose to say **

**When I'm all choked up and your okay**

**I'm falling to pieces , yeah**

**I'm falling to pieces.**

**They say bad things happen for a reason, but no**

**Wise words gonna stop the bleeding'.**

**Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving**

**And when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven, even ,no.**

**What am I gonna to do**

**When the best part of me was always you**

**What am I suppose to say **

**When I'm all choked up and your okay**

**I'm falling to pieces , yeah**

**I'm falling to pieces ,yeah**

**I'm falling to pieces**

**You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain**

**You took your suitcase, I took the blame **

**Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains, oh**

**Cause you left me with no love, and no love to my name**

**I'm still alive but I'm barley breathing. **

**Just prayin' to god that I don't believe in.**

**Cause I got time while she got freedom **

**cause when a heart breaks ,no it don't Break **

**No it don't break, no it don't breakeven, no**

**What am I gonna to do**

**When the best part of me was always you**

**What am I suppose to say **

**When I'm all choked up and your okay**

**I'm falling to pieces , yeah**

**I'm falling to pieces ,yeah**

**I'm falling to pieces.**

**I'm falling to pieces.**

**Oh, it don't breakeven no**

**Oh, it don't breakeven no**

**Oh, it don't breakeven no**

I strummed the last chords and looked out over the balcony for a while. She broke my fucking heart and didn't even know it. I finally decided it was probably safe enough to go back inside so I got up and opened the door just to test it out and it was completely quite.

I guess they had went home already. I didn't want to stay in this house right now so I figured I would get that fuck from Lauren that I know she was gonna offer. I sat the guitar on the couch on my way out I looked back up and saw a flash of red but then it was gone. So I didn't trip off it. I closed the door and walked down to her place and knocked on the door it took her all but 3 seconds to open the door and pull me in.

" I wondered how long it was gonna take you to knock on my door."

Fin

-Nene


	7. Its Been a While AN

**Authors Note:**

**Hey guys I lost my motivation to write this story but its back now and all I need is a beta to help me along would anyone be willing to help me go over what's already written and then continue from there? PM me or email me lytebryte84 **

**-Nene**


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